Friday, July 18, 2008

Threading the Brow


How cool is this thing!!! I’ve never tried threading before and for someone who is EXTREMELY eyebrow obsessed this is a must do and a must do on a regular basis at that lest I wake up yelling at Ernie.

A friend from work tells me about a threading shop all the way on 1960 which is great because it’s close but sucks because it’s 20-30 min drive with GOOD traffic and on 1960 good traffic is a rarity. Then suddenly she announces that there is a girl at Woodlands Mall who does threading for $10 right in front of Macy’s and I give her the Scooby Doo Huh before starting my break dancing routine to Hansel’s Messiah.

How cool is that? I’m within walking distance of the mall and finally I can have really decent eyebrows instead of a tribute to the nature channel hanging over my eyes.

I immediately go to the mall and get sidetrack by the Payless store right outside Macy’s and purchase two pairs of shoes. One are slides that I wear around work which are a bit more professional mainly because these have a heel in comparison with the slides they are replacing and a pair of round, open toe high heel shoes, wide width.

I absolutely love Payless. Their quality has improved tremendously and they are really the only shoe store that carries wide width shoes and so I’m all about the Payless. Total price less than $40.

Then I continue down the hall looking for the girl. She’s in a mall kiosk along with a woman that does henna tattoos and I completely miss her because she’s on the opposite side of the kiosk from where I’m walking. When I get to the end of the hall I look back and then ask a girl at another kiosk if she knows about the threading and she points me to the right kiosk.

Not the best atmosphere for beauty care, I’ve ever experienced, even for $10. People are walking by and occasionally I can feel them brush the chair which makes me uncomfortable.
As I sit down there are photos of the same face with different obviously computer drawn eyebrows on them that state the name of the stars that allegedly have that shape of brow. The Uma, The Julia, The Zeta-Jones, etc., etc.

I looked for a second and decided to ask her which would look best on me and she touches my face and finally says I have a natural arch and she’ll just use that. At first the threading did hurt, but much less than waxing and plucking does so I was cool but it felt weird as I wasn’t used to the sensation.

Then I get used to it and don’t feel it anymore.

One thing I learned other than threading doesn’t really hurt: I’m an aesthetic freak.

Yeah, I absolutely love the feel of things. I’m not in a relationship and haven’t been for several years. But when she would touch my face it was really intoxicating. I also liked how her breath floated down on my face and reminded me of sex. Not that I’m getting all into the taste of her cherry chapstick if you know what I mean but I miss those little things about being with another person that are hard to duplicate by yourself.

So in the end I came out of the mall with 2 pairs of shoes, fantastic eyebrows, and a sharper sense of loneliness.

The loneliness versus shoes puts me sharply in deficit as shopping only acerbates problems. However, the eyebrows puts me firmly in the black because they made me feel better, look more attractive, and would surely land me a mate.

I mean the first thing a guy looks at are the eyebrows, right?